It usually takes a while before it truly sinks in. I allow myself a window of numbness, and then all of a sudden it comes screaming at me like a Mack truck with cut brakes. Each impact sends me flying back into myself, vowing never again to step outside my cozy little walls. And each time, it takes about a week for me to come poking my head out, assessing the situation.
I've been thinking of Iowa again; specifically, Autumn in Iowa. They make a big deal out of harvest time there, so much so that in the days before the Great Floyd River Flood and the economic downfall of Sioux City, they would build sprawling palaces of corn in the middle of the city. The palaces were so large that they hosted actual theaters, mosaics, fountains, and colonnades, all made entirely of corn (and wood, of course). Though the tradition has since died out, the harvest time is still a huge happening. People wander the place in such an upbeat and cheery mood that it's enough to make any outsider feel as if they're outside of humanity as a whole, looking in on the way it should be.
I miss it so much sometimes that it physically hurts. Sometimes, when I close my eyes and breathe in deep, I can still smell the scent of fertilizer, stockyards, and Alpo dog food being cooked. It may not appeal to all, but it's managed to leave an Iowa-sized hole in my heart.
Oh if this post didn't speak to me! I know exactly how you feel with the whole poking your head out thing. And I must say, I have never really dreamed of visiting Iowa (with the exception of visiting it when I one day do my conquest of all the states of Amreica.) But you talking about it really made me want to visit. It seems just like the Autumnal kind of place I would love.
ReplyDeleteAnd as of your comment on my blog, goodness, how sweet you are. You make me want to post more often and that is a serious thing! I would also like to find a boy... I might have to add that to the list. We can both work on it! Go out catin' around.
And if you draw that tree you must, must post it! I think that would make a beautiful drawing. Do you draw often? I would love to see some of your stuff. I could never draw well. Paint well, sometimes. Draw well, never....
U shud dabble in coloring ur art. And sweety u might miss the corn palace but I think its time we BOTH raised that bar a little higher. Fuck the corn theatres. Its time we sat front row on broadway :)
ReplyDelete